Not necessarily in it to win it!

When Volunteer of the Year Award finalist David Moore was told of his promotion to 'Award Finalist', he didn't even think about the fact that if he won he would have to make a speech. So when he suddenly realised this could be expected of him, a part of him hoped he wasn't going to win…

There I was sitting in the huge conference room at the CSSC annual conference in Manchester. Not only was I a delegate, but I was also one of the finalists for the Volunteer of the Year Award. It was coming up to the point where they ask the finalists to come up onto the stage and I had that cold clammy feeling you get with anticipation and nervousness.

We had already been through a trial run earlier during the day. The five finalists, Andy Shaw, Ihor Lewyk, Steve Bratten, Paul Mackintosh and I had been shown where we would have to stand on the stage, and were told the order of things during the presentation. None of the head office staff were letting on who had won, they had even hidden the plate which had already been engraved with the winner's name. We would all be called up to the stage one by one as the speaker explained why each of us had been nominated and why we had made the final five. We were to take up our positions in a line on the stage and then the winner would be announced, an acceptance speech made and then photographs.

As a nominee for the award, I was given a CSSC branded satchel, which had the CSSC logo and 'Volunteers make it happen' printed on the front. (I use mine most days to take my sandwiches into work; it looks more professional that the Morrison's carrier bag I used to use!) We were also given a CSSC pen and pencil set and £50 of vouchers. I remember admiring the satchel and pen set thinking how well I'd done, even if I did not win, I had received something in appreciation. Then all of a sudden it hit me. They had said the winner would have to make an acceptance speech. That would mean standing up in front of the whole conference and make words come out of my mouth. Words that made some sort of sense.

OK, I would have no problem getting up from my seat, walking to the stage and then standing in line with four other people but what if I actually won?! Alright, no one was expecting a speech that would have the same unmistakable qualities of wit, humour and depth as that of one of Shakespeare's plays but I didn't think a plain 'Thanks' would do either.

So we're all sitting at our tables. There was my name. It was the real thing this time. I stood up and walked towards the stage. Auto pilot mode: smile and walk to the position on the stage you had been shown earlier during the day. I had managed to get there without tripping up, standing on anyone's bag or stumbling up the stairs onto the stage. I hadn't noticed whether I was called up first, last or any position in between. All I was thinking about was what to say if I actually won. I suddenly thought I should have been listening to what was being said about me; I could use that in any speech I might have to make. Too late! The bit about why I had been nominated had finished and I hadn't heard any of it and for the life of me, at that moment, I couldn't remember exactly what I had done to be nominated.

I was now in a slight panic and desperately thinking of what I would say if I won. 'The winner is Paul Mackintosh!' I felt an unusual sensation, relief and disappointment all at the same time. I applauded as enthusiastically as anyone else within the conference hall, maybe even more so. I would not have to make a speech!

Paul made a rather good speech; he had clearly prepared a lot better than I had. He actually had something written down. Next was the photograph session, presentations of plaques (mine takes pride of place on my desk at work) and then back to my table with the normal 'well done' and the 'I thought you were a definite shoe in for the award.' Friends always know what nice things to say. If they only knew the relief I felt.

My wife asked me later on during the day what I would have said if I had won. The volunteer of the year award finalists could invite someone to come to conference to watch the awards. I had chosen my wife. She was also someone who consoled me without realising some of the relief I was feeling. At the time I think I had drunk slightly more than I should have and didn't really reply! In truth I haven't really thought about what I might have said since; but thinking about it now, it would have probably been something about the other volunteers in the East Yorkshire Area Association and the great work they do; and that the award was in part due to my manager's support, and finally how important it is that people continue to volunteer.