Life in the Fast Lane

All I said was that CSSC never organised anything I was really interested in, and before you could say Jenson Button, there I was… gloves, racing suit and full face crash helmet.

Unrecognisable to the other 15 men and one woman equally in the same state of dress I was now wishing I had been to the toilet before hand!

Having signed in for insurance purposes, and no doubt missing the small print "get out" clauses, a safety video was watched. Many saw the humour in the video but I didn't I still wanted to go to the toilet.

The notice board was then examined which contained details of the grid order for 17 heats of fast and furious fun with high octane adrenalin included as a bonus for free. The heats would lead to three semi-finals culminating in 6 of the best Civil Service Karting drivers ever born (in your dreams) battling it out in the grand final for what could only be misrepresented as a bottle of Champagne. I would imagine Customs officers had seized and destroyed better quality. First, second and third placed Kart champions would also receive trophies. These, no doubt, would adorn mantle pieces across East Anglia just waiting for some innocent victim to ask the question that could potentially lead them to loose the will to live…."What's this then?". How long it took to reach this critical state would depend on how long the story could be padded out.

The experience on the night at Ipswich Indoor Karting Centre was nearly three hours in duration but time just flew by. We wanted to start all over again but the Centre Marshals, having homes to go to, politely suggested we come back another day.

The drivers casual banter became more serious as the racing developed with tactics to loose weight and gain an advantage seeing the toilet facilities well used by some and others wishing they had not consumed so much food at the venue prior to their Karting experience!

To be honest dirty tactics were used by many although the black and white flag did not suggest this. No names (but see below for clues!!), the best way of racing was to keep well clear of the women. Whoever said women were prim and proper could never have been shunted up the rear at 40 miles an hour going through a tunnel on a tea tray with small rubber tyres hanging on to a steering wheel that would not be out of place in a dolls house, a track rapidly narrowing and the innocent party in all this wondering if he should after all have read the small print on the insurance policy!

The evening really was very good fun and if it was to be done all over again I would be first…….in line to participate. Jenson Button move over "I'm coming through"

If a similar experience is organised I would advise you to book early to avoid disappointment.

Many thanks must go to the organiser Claire (who mothered us throughout the night and raced - see above!!) together with the CSSC who made it possible for such an exhilarating and fun filled night out had by all.

Derek Burke