CSSC Masters' Football Tournament - CSSC Games, Loughborough University

Barry Middlebrooke of HMRC Hull gives his diary report of the Masters' Football Tournament at The Games.

Wednesday 16 September 2009

With the hassles surrounding late withdrawals, last minute kit purchases & the fragile fitness of a threadbare squad fading into the distance, the Over 35s Men's Masters' Football Team (AKA The Cocoon 7, sponsored by Red Bull), braved the M1 traffic jams, arriving at Loughborough University around tea time. After reversing ourselves into our rooms (just think cosy), it was down to the bar to talk tactics. My suggestion of playing a 3-2-1 system was shot down by Steve. Apparently, my maths skills are best accompanied by a calculator if we want to have a goalie on the field.

Pete made the first of 4 (unsuccessful) attempts to obtain double portions at the dinner hall (think super sized scene from Oliver!) and then it was back to the bar to talk more tactics/rubbish and frantically find somewhere for Toni (rounders team) to fall asleep. Well, watch Liverpool's Champions League game, but what's the difference?

Thursday 17 September 2009

There were a few delicate veterans around as Hull HMRC kicked off their tournament with a 5-1 defeat to CSSC TWN, with Hull struggling to gel and settle on an unfamiliar pitch. After a few tactical changes, a creditable 2-2 draw followed, with Mark Bennett proving to be a formidable outlet upfront with his trusty left peg. Victories against HASSRA South West (3-1) and GCSLA (1-0) wrapped up the day, leaving the team happy with their gradual improvement as they settled into their stride. The whole squad had worked extremely hard and earned their evening refreshments.

Friday 18 September 2009

A change in fixtures led to an early start against CSSC South Essex, meaning a desperate race against time for at least one Hull player to locate an open toilet before kick off. Hull again started sluggishly, losing 1-0. The game culminated in a frank exchange of views between 3 of the Hull team players, as frustrations reached boiling point. The 'clear the air' row seemed to do the trick, with a much improved (and perhaps overly polite!) 0-0 draw following with CSSC South Essex.

The group games were then wrapped up with a 3-0 derby victory against West Yorkshire & Craven. Although Hull had picked up several injuries and were virtually out on their feet, the other teams was just the same, but Hull dug in and ground out the result. Hull had finished third in their group of 8, to make it through to the quarter final against the slick and accomplished National Land Registry Team. Hull again worked their socks off to grind out an impressive 1-1 draw, clawing their way back from being a goal down, taking the tie through to the dreaded penalty shoot out. After all of the team had successfully put away their initial penalties, the ball was moved further out to make it more difficult. Into sudden death, Karl threw himself at the ball to save dramatically, leaving Mark Bennett with the chance to win the tie. For once, Mark's left foot failed to deliver, with his shot down the middle saved by the Land Registry keeper. Another goal followed from Land Registry, leaving Paul Fairbank needing to score to save the tie. The ball cannoned against the bar, putting Land Registry through, and leaving Paul to contemplate 6 months of Chris Waddle & Stuart Pearce jokes!

Summary

Throughout the tournament, it became apparent that the majority of teams in this tournament consisted of the best players from whole geographical areas of CSSC, such as the South West or West Yorkshire, unlike the Hull team which was drawn from just 1.5 floors of one office in one city. To have finished third from 8, and taken the National Land Registry team to penalties in the Quarter Final, ranks as a major achievement, and was a just reward for the hard work put in by the whole squad.

The Players

Karl 'in his own time' Oliver - Adapted quickly to an unfamiliar pitch, often kept the team in games with some dramatic saves and fine positioning. However, he did break out in a sweat when I mentioned going in goal to allow him a run out, but managed to get away with it!

Paul 'Kettle' Fairbank - When channelling his frustrations against the opposition rather than his team mates, provided the team's main energy through the centre of the field, winning vital possession and providing options in attack. Slipped into an alternative dimension at one point and started playing Aussie Rules with a 30 yard attempted own goal with his hands, but quickly recovered his composure once the ref had stopped laughing. (Goals: 1)

Pete 'The Water Carrier' Davies - With several crunching tackles and interceptions, gave the team a real presence. Alternated between defence and attack, but adapted well to both positions, scoring a fine goal. It appeared at one point the 'Tasmanian Devil' had possessed him, as bodies and limbs were scattered around as he marauded forward. (Goals: 1)

Mark 'Munch' Bennett - The previous night's musings on the genius tactics to be employed pretty much went out of the window when we got out on the pitch. 'Give it to Benno' became the default option. Given half a chance, he used his lethal left foot to fire in the majority of the team's goals, also working hard despite picking up a knock to track back and help out the defence. Was the most relieved man around on the Friday when the toilet block opened up prior to the first game! (Goals: 7)

Steve 'Taxi Driver' Tetley - Settled in to an unfamiliar role at the heart of the defence with ease, putting in accomplished and consistent performances, vital ball winning combined with intelligent positioning and frequent runs forward to support the attack. Regretted turning up on the second night in his car when it was comendeered by the 'insistent' rounders team.

Barry 'Bupa' Middlebrooke - Defied the cynics to last the entire tournament without the use of the waiting ambulance. Worked hard to provide options upfront, providing some trademark killer balls through for Mark, and chipping in with a couple of goals. Thanks to Lucozade, managed to track back to provide cover for the defence, especially to close up games towards the end. Out shopping this week for a sheepskin jacket to accompany new dodgy manager's role. (Goals: 2)

Tony 'Baywatch' Sleight - At the age of 56, Tony is probably one of the oldest players at the tournament, but Tony's energy & enthusiasm still shone through. His dogged refusal to be passed at the back surprised several younger opponents, as did his trademark sudden appearances in space in attack, providing options upfront. Produced some top comedy by coming off the bench to see a ball coming towards him from the other pitch, which he duly wellied back to the other pitch Peter Kay style. Yeah, you guessed it - it was our ball being returned! Luckily, the other side saw the funny side even though they were chasing the game.

Barry Middlebrooke

H M Revenue & Customs (Local Compliance)

Hull

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